Spoons on Sunday

Sorry for my lack of posts this past week! I’ll try to do a better job of blogging this week. This past week was a busy week. It started with a early flight out on Monday to the Exponential Conference in Orlando. It was an incredible conference with an emphasis on church planting. I took 12 pages of notes during the conference. Now I need to sort through my notes and try to digest some of the information.

We had a great service today. It was great to see so many stay for the Newcomer luncheon after church.

After church we got together with some friends and played the most intense game of spoons that I’ve ever seen. All I’ve got to say is we’ve got some very competitive people at Elk Creek Church! Eric got clocked in the nose(sorry dude, but you were in my way). Several people got scratched, clawed, & gouged. We laughed like crazy! It was honestly one of the most fun days I’ve had in a while. At the end of the day, we had some bent spoons, a few scratches on our dining room table, but it was all worth it. Thanks guys!

I’m beat…time to hit the sack

Cruel Games at the Playground

OK…it’s down to two contestants on both sides. Not that it matters much. If we were at the playground on a “teeter totter” or “see saw”, Dave would be the one up in the air legs dangling, and I’d be the one playing the cruel joke of letting my side hit the ground hard causing Dave to go airborne.

I was a little surprised that Carly got the boot with that performance. Is it because she mentioned the name of Jesus?

Communication Constipation (3 of 4)

Don’t you just love being put on hold? Especially when there is bad elevator music playing in the background! What’s worse is when you are left listening to staticky elevator music.

In our communication with our spouse, we put them on hold when we…

• Shut down and refuse to engage in the conversation.
• Fill their ear with staticky noise instead of listening intently to their concern.
• Put off an important conversation that needs to take place NOW not later.

Often times, the conversation is started off poorly which causes the other person to place us on hold almost immediately.

If you find yourself being put on hold by your spouse, think about how you are initiating the conversation…

• Maybe you are trying to initiate a conversation at a really poor time. Timing will often make the difference whether you are put on hold or not.

• Are you angry? Maybe count to 10 first, then try to initiate the conversation. An angry spouse will almost always be put on hold

What causes you to put your spouse on hold?

Communication Constipation (2 of 4)

Yesterday, I shared my experience of trying to cancel a service over the phone. I likened it to how our communication sometimes is in our marriage relationships. I was transferred to different people several times during my 30 minute phone call. Each time It felt like I was being blown off. One of the transfers occurred while I was still talking.

Sometimes in our communication with our spouse, we transfer the call instead of listening and dealing with issues head on. We are guilty of transferring the call in our communication when…

1. We don’t own up to our own mistakes.
2. We transfer the blame to other people or circumstances.
3. We’re more worried about who’s right or wrong than we are about fixing the issue.

Transferring the call never fixes the problem, it only makes it worse. It aggravates an issue into an even bigger issue.

Instead of transferring the call, we need to try to…

• Listen to the other person completely and without interruption. (Prov. 12:15)
• Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they are feeling this way.
• Listen some more. (Prov. 18:13)
• Own your mistakes completely, without trying to defend your actions. (Prov. 15:31)
• Say, “I’m sorry“. These are two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. Many arguments would stop at the sound of these two words. (Prov. 15:1)

What are some others ways to avoid transferring the call?